Asylum Architectural Digest

It’s been awhile since the 8sails staff watched Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell, and a question raised by the picture is still nagging at me: why would anyone build an insane asylum with a secret room in it?

I can practically hear the conversation between the asylum director-to-be and the architect.

Director:  I’ve examined the plans, and everything looks good. I just have one question.

Architect: Yes?

Director: This room here, what is that?

Architect: That’s the secret room. See, we put in a complex spring mechanism in the wall, and it opens a hidden door from this room here.

Director: I see. And why exactly do we need a secret room?

Architect: Eventually all insane asylums end up with a mad scientist either as a patient or a member of the staff. And inevitably the guy is going to start doing crazy experiments on the patients. For that kind of work you really need a secret room.

Director: I guess I just thought this was going to be a day room for the low-risk patients.

Architect: Do you want a mad scientist to start cutting up bodies and stitching their parts together in the middle of a day room for low-risk patients?

Director: Well, no. I guess not.

Great Moments in Theology 5

Judging by the art on this billboard, what else might Christ be up to on your behalf?

1. He smelled a bad smell for your sins
2. He took an algebra test for your sins
3. He ate a day old pizza with anchovies for your sins
4. He smoked a doob for your sins
5. He filed an amended return for your sins
6. He stood in line at the DMV for your sins
7. He watched three Bruce Willis movies back to back for your sins
   

Seriously, was this ad really created by the Roman Catholic Church? C’mon, guys! You have the world’s single most awesome art collection – including at least two or three pictures of Jesus – and this is the best you can do?

Great Moments in Theology 4

The Scarface Cafe

Great Moments in Theology 3

Great Moments in Theology 2

Modern Living Tip 2