tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90278883571912228832024-03-05T13:44:39.273-08:00The Hoffman LensThey live. We sleep.Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-55554305373312097912016-05-10T21:09:00.000-07:002016-05-23T21:10:03.446-07:00Tryin' to catch me ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsplKuveWG1OIMumKwMlOuO4BpesI9CcwIX1eQFwa3n2LbOb6jNfJFehf5B50VCY_sm7DLjaRfnqfl6iqOzKDCm8cvBQC0YvwvazVr4w0E9WJgzYZhWYAhO0q0fl8Z_Y_f0FGjyT1QSBQ/s1600/Cranach_ridin_dirty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="422" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsplKuveWG1OIMumKwMlOuO4BpesI9CcwIX1eQFwa3n2LbOb6jNfJFehf5B50VCY_sm7DLjaRfnqfl6iqOzKDCm8cvBQC0YvwvazVr4w0E9WJgzYZhWYAhO0q0fl8Z_Y_f0FGjyT1QSBQ/s640/Cranach_ridin_dirty.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-67766744098679604102016-05-03T20:09:00.000-07:002016-05-06T19:41:53.036-07:00Nom nom nominations<div>
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List of people who'd make an ideal running mate for Donald Trump:</div>
<ul>
<li>An ovarian tumor (who hates women even more than Trump does).</li>
<li>The guy who posted the comment on Fox News' web site calling Malia Obama the N word.</li>
<li>Ronald Reagan's brain being kept alive (or at least as alive as it ever was) inside a jar.</li>
<li>The Juggalos. All of them.</li>
<li>Caesar's noble horse Incitatus.</li>
</ul>
</div>
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I
wonder now if the Republicans will back off and let the current
President fill the vacancy on the Supreme Court. Because now they're
going to get an appointment either by Hillary Clinton (who will have
even less incentive to play ball with them than Barack Obama has) or
Trump. Whom might he name? Judge Judy? Jesse "The Body" Ventura?<br />
<br />
</div>
The possibilities are endless.Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-79687293784721246602016-03-29T08:45:00.000-07:002016-04-20T17:37:28.516-07:00Tonight we tart in hell!Not sure what prompted me to actually look at the back of a Pop Tart box before tossing it into the recycle bin. But when I did, this is what I found:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO3XE6zdEOz7cPaTbwdSbDFVoD-6vIS17sEOeEd4AYG_NdS52X620eD3D0MeVyxBYQoJhcB9CNSVbaoG3Y9vEYF_NfZHUuj1CmOwyD9umdE-pJGw2ZxJsoW5JhzDii-Sqk3zgSsooAUZQ/s1600/Tarta.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO3XE6zdEOz7cPaTbwdSbDFVoD-6vIS17sEOeEd4AYG_NdS52X620eD3D0MeVyxBYQoJhcB9CNSVbaoG3Y9vEYF_NfZHUuj1CmOwyD9umdE-pJGw2ZxJsoW5JhzDii-Sqk3zgSsooAUZQ/s400/Tarta.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
The whole back of the box was decorated with odd tart-related images, of which this was the most bizarre.<br />
<br />
Help me out here. Pop Tarts are being threatened with Toaster invasion, and the King of the Pop Tarts is deliberately killing the Toaster emissary? Who even gets this joke? Nobody under the age of ten was even born when <i>300</i> came out (and it was released with an R rating, so likely audience members skew even older).<br />
<br />
Clearly Pop Tarts are being marketed to someone besides kids these days. With that in mind, here are some suggestions for other famous movie moments that could be tarted up a bit:<br />
<ul>
<li>Your mother eats tarts in hell.</li>
<li>Say hello to my little tart! </li>
<li>Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatart.</li>
<li>I ate his liver with Pop Tarts and a nice Chianti. </li>
<li>I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my tart.</li>
</ul>
Or at the very least perhaps this could breathe new life into an immortal classic of the silver screen:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCjYQvu7UVDwfABLytK1MGhx1KJDgL6SkDgYCwd3dmSaclbeqaY02HHLle75s2zicLLNNj-XOGaQYFylpaTEiKqnV3zKpya5TMULqYvp7H6fevwXdhi7t9gUg62O6zWrt0OOYSdccU_OA/s1600/Death+Curse+of+Tartu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCjYQvu7UVDwfABLytK1MGhx1KJDgL6SkDgYCwd3dmSaclbeqaY02HHLle75s2zicLLNNj-XOGaQYFylpaTEiKqnV3zKpya5TMULqYvp7H6fevwXdhi7t9gUg62O6zWrt0OOYSdccU_OA/s640/Death+Curse+of+Tartu.jpg" width="424" /></a></div>
<br />
For what it's worth, the tag line at the top of the poster is pure coincidence.<br />
<br />
Or is it?Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-3489987526743828112016-01-12T11:28:00.000-08:002017-06-21T09:49:59.055-07:00Some thoughts on Making a Murderer.During the holiday break I watched the new Netflix series Making a Murderer. As apparently did a lot of other people.The series has sparked petition drives to obtain pardons for Steven Avery and Brendan Dassey, two men convicted of murder in rural Wisconsin.<br />
<br />
At least in Avery’s case, these petition efforts are misguided. The folks bugging Barack Obama about this should understand that the President doesn’t have authority to pardon state prisoners. The folks bugging Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker about it … well, I’m guessing that’s a non-starter. Walker strikes me as Wisconsin’s version of Kansas Governor Sam Brownback. If the comparison is apt, there will be no mercy from that quarter (unless the Averys are secretly billionaires and have cleverly concealed it).<br />
<br />
However, if Walker happened to be in the pardoning mood, he should issue one for Dassey. Unless something dramatic was omitted from the documentary, the guy was convicted almost solely by his own confession to law enforcement officers. Were I a juror in the case, I would have regarded the admissions dragged out of a mentally-impaired 16 year old as self-contradictory, coerced and worthless as evidence.<br />
<br />
Avery is another matter altogether. Here’s what I think the evidence shows:<br />
<br />
When he was 18, Avery burglarized a bar. He was convicted and spent 10 months in jail.<br />
<br />
When he was 20, he poured gasoline on his family’s cat and threw it in a fire, burning it alive. He did prison time for animal cruelty. Early in the documentary he lies about the crime, claiming the cat’s death was accidental.<br />
<br />
Three years later he was convicted of assaulting a female cousin with a shotgun. In the documentary he admits to the assault, though he claims the gun wasn’t loaded. Not that his cousin would have known that. Not that she wouldn’t have feared joining the family cat in the afterlife.<br />
<br />
This evidence clearly establishes Avery as a violent man capable of complete indifference to the suffering of others and incapable of conforming his behavior to the requirements of the law. It also establishes his willingness to lie.<br />
<br />
Though that might mitigate the amount of sympathy one ought to extend to him, it shouldn’t by itself be enough to convict him of other crimes.<br />
<br />
Sadly, this principle was demonstrated when Avery spent 18 years behind bars for a rape he didn’t commit. Shoddy work by the Manitowoc County Sheriff’s Department led to the conviction, which was overturned later when Avery was exonerated by DNA evidence. The tainted investigation was either the result of “round up the usual suspects” law enforcement or part of an ongoing family feud involving Avery and some members of the sheriff’s department.<br />
<br />
On or around October 31, 2005, photographer Teresa Hallbach was murdered. She was employed by Auto Trader Magazine, and her last appointment of the day was a car photo assignment at the Avery family salvage yard. Steven Avery had an established pattern of specifically requesting Hallbach when he did business with Auto Trader. And Hallbach had asked not to be sent to the Avery property anymore, citing a previous incident in which he came to the door wearing nothing but a towel.<br />
<br />
Nobody saw Hallbach alive after her appointment with Avery. Her bloodstained SUV was found parked on Avery’s property. Charred fragments of her bones were found in the ashes of a bonfire set by Avery on the evening of Hallbach’s disappearance.<br />
<br />
For obvious reasons, Manitowoc deputies were supposed to be excluded from the murder investigation. But some participated in it nonetheless. Evidence strongly suggests that they planted the SUV’s key in Avery’s trailer and smeared Avery’s blood (obtained from an evidence file from a previous investigation) in the SUV itself.<br />
<br />
Avery was clearly convicted based in part on tainted evidence. And that’s exactly why he shouldn’t receive a pardon. If he’s pardoned, he can’t be tried again for the crime. Both Avery and the people of Wisconsin deserve better than that.<br />
<br />
Of course he isn’t entitled to a new trial. He had expensive, competent counsel during the first go-around (another benefit denied Dassey, who was tried separately). His lawyers challenged the validity of the evidence, so the jury had the opportunity to question it. <br />
<br />
But in this particular case, a new trial would be a fascinating experience. Personally, I believe Avery would be convicted anew based on the non-tainted evidence from the investigation.<br />
<br />
And if he happened to win acquittal, perhaps someone will make a ten hour long documentary about how broken the justice system is when it can’t keep a brutal killer like Avery behind bars.Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-50176089080033964852015-12-08T17:10:00.000-08:002016-04-20T20:25:33.626-07:00DOE warns of threat of Taylor Swift Star Wars match-up<div>
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WASHINGTON
DC – In a rare Monday morning press conference, the US Department of
Energy warned the nation against the potentially catastrophic
consequences of a match-up between singer Taylor Swift and the Star Wars
franchise. According to Energy Secretary Ernest Moniz, an appearance by
Swift in a Star Wars movie would cause American popular culture to
reach critical mass, an event that could destroy society as we know it.</div>
<br />
Moniz
said he called the press conference in reaction to an announcement that
Swift was going to reveal "big news" on morning talk shows.<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
"Fortunately,
it turned out to be a false alarm," he said. "She's just releasing a
video on Apple Music or something like that. Further, consultants
working with the Rand Corporation have assured us that advance
screenings of The Force Awakens have revealed the movie to be completely
Swift free.<br />
<br /></div>
"And that's a good thing. Because our computer
simulations indicate that even a cameo role as Spaceport Bartender or
Stormtrooper #7 would be enough to trigger a chain reaction."<br />
<br /></div>
The
resulting Taylor Swift Star Wars Event would cause massive bursts of
what scientists call Disney Radiation to explode out of television sets
across the country.<br />
<br /></div>
Describing a TSSW Event as "the most
horrible thing since the invention of the neutron bomb," Moniz said that
clinical trials last year in theaters screening Frozen indicated that
D-Rays directly targeted neurons in human brains, rendering them
incapable of storing or conveying the electrical impulses that enable
people to think.<br />
<br /></div>
"If a TSSW Event were to occur, cable
subscribers would be the lucky ones," he said. "The initial blast would
instantly turn their brains to Jello. Wall-penetrating D-Rays would also
render anyone in the house permanently incapable of thought, whether or
not they were watching TV at the time.<br />
<br /></div>
"Plug pullers will
not be so fortunate. Anyone whose mind isn't wiped clean by the
detonation itself is in for slow death caused by D-Ray-heavy fallout.
Even people who are currently willing and able to read books will soon
find their thought processes reduced to the level of TSSW rule 34 memes.
Eventually they will become too stupid to feed themselves and will die
of starvation."<br />
<br /></div>
During the question and answer session, a
reporter reminded Moniz that viewers accustomed to stories about fuzzy
kittens and celebrities doing charity work would expect at least some
positive news.<br />
<br /></div>
"You want an up side?" the secretary testily
replied. "The only up side I see is that maybe millions of years from
now the archaeologists among the lizard people who inherit our planet
will be able to use our example to prevent a match-up between Lizard
Taylor Swift and Lizard Star Wars."
Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-74841592945816978092015-09-22T17:07:00.000-07:002016-04-25T20:54:12.715-07:00In memory of Kronsteen<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzn7bNeQWKS_DvksySPdW67mrp4sEPDzu-lsZWfuuQgERYXDrkR2nalF9s23nwgXSg4uUNDS0a0rnDK0Vt5T-4kr5HAlbcBzN7aqh0ix9TQZPy28Xhm4_Kj28v96ZQkKT8FTkTE7SkKbQ/s1600/kronsteen1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzn7bNeQWKS_DvksySPdW67mrp4sEPDzu-lsZWfuuQgERYXDrkR2nalF9s23nwgXSg4uUNDS0a0rnDK0Vt5T-4kr5HAlbcBzN7aqh0ix9TQZPy28Xhm4_Kj28v96ZQkKT8FTkTE7SkKbQ/s1600/kronsteen1.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
The subject of this evening's
meditation is Kronsteen, one of the supporting villains in From Russia
with Love (the second James Bond movie, released in 1963). He was played
by Vladek Sheybal, a slight and creepy-looking actor who in real life
was a member of the Polish resistance during World War Two.<br />
<br /></div>
In
the movie, Kronsteen was a chess master who moonlighted as an
operations planner for SPECTRE, the international agency of evil from
the Bond series. He designs a scheme to steal a Soviet decoding machine
and sell it to the highest bidder, tricking Bond into sneaking it out of
Istanbul.<br />
<br /></div>
Needless to say, the operation fails. Through
his usual blend of panache, skill and pure blind luck, Bond manages to
defeat the incompetent minions of SPECTRE field operative Rosa Klebb
(Lotte Lenya) and save the day.<br />
<br /></div>
Back at the evil overlord's
lair, the evil overlord calls Kronsteen and Klebb to account for the
failure. Having determined that Klebb caused the problem, overlord then has Kronsteen killed.<br />
<br /></div>
I first saw this movie when I was a kid,
and that moment made me extremely angry. For starters, Kronsteen was a
skinny, dark-haired, spooky-looking guy who was too smart for his own
good, which naturally meant that I identified with him. But more than
that, the guy did his job. His plan was perfect. Klebb fucked it up.
Shouldn't she be the one to get the poison boot blade to the calf?<br />
<br /></div>
When
I got older, I understood this a lot more. The failure was Kronsteen's
for not producing a plan that would take Klebb's failure into account.
It isn't enough to do your own job. You also have to be accountable for
the failures of the people you have to work with. Your plan isn't
perfect until it takes all possible breakdowns into account.<br />
<br /></div>
Plus
at that point if you're going to salvage what you can from a busted
operation you really need a field operative more than a strategy guy.
Thus Klebb has to stay in the game. Possibly unfair, but logical and practical
nonetheless.<br />
<br /></div>
I think more and more we're all facing our own
personal Bonds and Klebbs, “challenges” who have the devil's own luck on their
sides. There's no way to plan around them, nothing we can do that will
put contingencies in place for all the world's possible fuck-ups. And as
failure upon failure mounts up in our lives, it becomes such an
overwhelming tide of dysfunction that it's almost enough to make one
long for the sweet nepenthe of a swift poison boot blade to the calf.
Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-16877634205577859292015-08-25T20:01:00.000-07:002016-04-23T20:02:31.870-07:00It's like a whole other countryFade in to a picnic table in the middle of a grassy park. In the
background children are playing on a seesaw. Satan is sitting at the
table, his golf shirt and casual jeans spotless and immaculately
pressed, his hair carefully sculpted to draw attention away from his
horns without completely hiding them.<br />
<br />
Satan: Hello. You might recognize me from your children’s album covers
or perhaps my many successful business ventures and runs for public
office. I’ve bought time during the show you’re watching to talk to you
about a subject near and dear to my heart: Hell.<br />
<br />
Cut to close-up.<br />
<br />
Satan (continues): My home has gotten a bit of a bad rap over the years.
(Sarcastic tone) It’s a land of evil and darkness, a pit of eternal
torture, not an ideal tourist destination. The only time Hell comes up
in conversation is when the drive-thru moron who forgot your french
fries needs to be told where to go. (Sincere again) Well, I’d like you
to start seeing Hell in a whole new light.<br />
<br />
Cut to a montage of shots from popular movies and TV shows.<br />
<br />
Satan (voice over): Upcoming Hollywood releases. The networks’ fall
line-ups. Nearly everything on high band cable. Where do you think that
kind of quality entertainment comes from?<br />
<br />
Cut to a montage of clips from American Idol and music industry awards shows.<br />
<br />
Satan (voice over continues): Where would popular music be without singers who hail from my neck of the woods?<br />
<br />
Cut to a montage of shots of well-known talk radio personalities.<br />
<br />
Satan (voice over continues): And if the Hell border should ever close, your airwaves will fall silent in a flash.<br />
<br />
Cut back to close-up.<br />
<br />
Satan: So the next time you’re about to mention my home town because you
just hit your thumb with a hammer, stop and think about just how much
Hell does for you.<br />
<br />
Super: HELL. Nor am I out of it.
Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-28517738735055235772015-08-18T20:10:00.000-07:002016-04-23T20:11:14.893-07:00I'd walk a mile for a Morlock<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN5zT7RqifcflwoaLLGPQGSFxvjcf0VutTL5qrxpb5oNtixvS_trTigilmwTmqZB2FP-zER78xN8l1V0ZWprblsGsAt8mhT80hRaVWgB0nbMzAqMkpktIv3RLnLUe31UODYip0EhZA85k/s1600/time-mahcine-morlocks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN5zT7RqifcflwoaLLGPQGSFxvjcf0VutTL5qrxpb5oNtixvS_trTigilmwTmqZB2FP-zER78xN8l1V0ZWprblsGsAt8mhT80hRaVWgB0nbMzAqMkpktIv3RLnLUe31UODYip0EhZA85k/s400/time-mahcine-morlocks.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Awhile back a friend was driving down Kansas Avenue when he happened to
see a Morlock driving the car next to him. Or at least he thinks it was a
Morlock. It had stringy, white hair. It had a shriveled face. It looked
like it had never seen the light of day.<br />
<br />
Trouble was, it was smoking a cigarette.<br />
<br />
This prompted a discussion about whether or not Morlocks smoked.
Certainly we never see them doing so at any time during the George Pal
production of <i>The Time Machine</i>.
But that doesn’t definitively answer the question, because all the
Morlocks we see in the movie are at work. They’re on the Eloi-boiling
production line, and of course in the food service business you can’t
smoke on the job.<br />
<br />
Further, I’ll bet Morlock smoke breaks are short. Eloi boiling seems
like the kind of job where if you and your co-workers wander off for
even a couple of minutes that you’d have the boiling foreman all up in
your business.<br />
<br />
“You Morlocks need to keep busy. I can’t have you Morlocks loafing off.
If the boss comes up here and sees you loafing off, he ain’t gonna yell
at you. He’s going to yell at me. So get back to work. Those Eloi ain’t gonna boil themselves.”<br />
<br />
Thus they only get to really bust out the Winstons and relax in the car on the way home.
Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-47873295260078167852015-08-11T20:05:00.000-07:002016-04-24T12:23:55.307-07:00Asylum Architectural DigestIt’s been awhile since the 8sails staff watched <i>Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell</i>, and a question raised by the picture is still nagging at me: why would anyone build an insane asylum with a secret room in it?<br />
<br />
I can practically hear the conversation between the asylum director-to-be and the architect.<br />
<br />
Director: I’ve examined the plans, and everything looks good. I just have one question.<br />
<br />
Architect: Yes?<br />
<br />
Director: This room here, what is that?<br />
<br />
Architect:
That’s the secret room. See, we put in a complex spring mechanism in
the wall, and it opens a hidden door from this room here.<br />
<br />
Director: I see. And why exactly do we need a secret room?<br />
<br />
Architect:
Eventually all insane asylums end up with a mad scientist either as a
patient or a member of the staff. And inevitably the guy is going to
start doing crazy experiments on the patients. For that kind of work you
really need a secret room.<br />
<br />
Director: I guess I just thought this was going to be a day room for the low-risk patients.<br />
<br />
Architect:
Do you want a mad scientist to start cutting up bodies and stitching
their parts together in the middle of a day room for low-risk patients?<br />
<br />
Director: Well, no. I guess not.Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-71965591205711971402015-03-03T21:01:00.000-08:002016-05-23T21:02:30.693-07:00Great Moments in Theology 5<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Judging by the art on this billboard, what else might Christ be up to on your behalf?<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>He smelled a bad smell for your sins</li>
<li>He took an algebra test for your sins</li>
<li>He ate a day old pizza with anchovies for your sins</li>
<li>He smoked a doob for your sins</li>
<li>He filed an amended return for your sins</li>
<li>He stood in line at the DMV for your sins</li>
<li>He watched three Bruce Willis movies back to back for your sins<br />
</li>
</ol>
Seriously, was this ad really created by the Roman
Catholic Church? C’mon, guys! You have the world’s single most awesome
art collection – including at least two or three pictures of Jesus –
and this is the best you can do?Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-80068975546668754642015-02-03T21:00:00.000-08:002016-05-23T21:00:37.369-07:00Great Moments in Theology 4<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLdArq1SAgFS8CYiDbfosUeuH0xWwmb00nGJXyQefFbtbkKrcx34x9POyP1yuSZSNdRYv0lwZFFzSFACqF7-r3hbdJBZCFg1VahbeAYumu5hpYQkOj9TGZfaCD-VpHMBRNDcbfJn5Eva8/s1600/UN_Jesus.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLdArq1SAgFS8CYiDbfosUeuH0xWwmb00nGJXyQefFbtbkKrcx34x9POyP1yuSZSNdRYv0lwZFFzSFACqF7-r3hbdJBZCFg1VahbeAYumu5hpYQkOj9TGZfaCD-VpHMBRNDcbfJn5Eva8/s640/UN_Jesus.png" width="384" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-46082304919573403782014-11-04T20:55:00.000-08:002016-05-23T20:56:18.344-07:00The Scarface Cafe<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0TsRU2aWrIgqe02-i0G4ItbIZhxfRmqgJQA1nfY2wuJbF5Ls8EvwsIXxS23vg87ik0V08DloxW5K0sHh7Bk9rCiDr7WcYUZQAAVFceQGC1cM8L5BpzxiJWntxtgbF96XarUvVXW8EXkY/s1600/Scarface+Cafe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0TsRU2aWrIgqe02-i0G4ItbIZhxfRmqgJQA1nfY2wuJbF5Ls8EvwsIXxS23vg87ik0V08DloxW5K0sHh7Bk9rCiDr7WcYUZQAAVFceQGC1cM8L5BpzxiJWntxtgbF96XarUvVXW8EXkY/s640/Scarface+Cafe.jpg" width="484" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-51391523072876008782014-10-07T20:53:00.000-07:002016-05-23T20:54:04.588-07:00Great Moments in Theology 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6khnmb6K8BDfPqCYmkdwfogFweVmXaziIoYAI_WWBwcUtbAeVoc-gJKLXE0XqtNsyoiU0pgcjICNbZXOGmmiDfcaPjC79pNbhvYO9FZwjPxn3ptXX0RlkuLA9o0LNTFlcFMRJ9tmZxy4/s1600/The+Archangel+Velma.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6khnmb6K8BDfPqCYmkdwfogFweVmXaziIoYAI_WWBwcUtbAeVoc-gJKLXE0XqtNsyoiU0pgcjICNbZXOGmmiDfcaPjC79pNbhvYO9FZwjPxn3ptXX0RlkuLA9o0LNTFlcFMRJ9tmZxy4/s640/The+Archangel+Velma.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-30037492812027127642014-09-02T20:52:00.000-07:002016-05-23T20:52:31.669-07:00Great Moments in Theology 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXWtGAE8ZZTbKG568dZ8VBYe-55xPU3VITIeExGSR5WCNW0OWASB0ZCJ9iKJFDOpiFPD1gIMOL5cxAJa4EX4E_ShrODDGPOHOhVTa2LcUsKgBSKF6mikGu4XGCha2l3GlrbnArWWKtzYw/s1600/Jesus+surgery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="364" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXWtGAE8ZZTbKG568dZ8VBYe-55xPU3VITIeExGSR5WCNW0OWASB0ZCJ9iKJFDOpiFPD1gIMOL5cxAJa4EX4E_ShrODDGPOHOhVTa2LcUsKgBSKF6mikGu4XGCha2l3GlrbnArWWKtzYw/s640/Jesus+surgery.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-26132691943333793982014-08-05T20:43:00.000-07:002016-05-23T20:43:52.216-07:00Modern Living Tip 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrWdiKO6Rs2P_Z2rteF3lFHaVCFpAQhJ3vm0MuqVrAxQr5kvAuBnFRPbMr0GeN1hv_0qFDmHFQ4eHxahaD5O1wRMm1cFH-U9lu1wGonH6FdQyisijEHhRtI5pXgeDR6Rv4YvntIK3nRVs/s1600/Ghost+Dots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="522" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrWdiKO6Rs2P_Z2rteF3lFHaVCFpAQhJ3vm0MuqVrAxQr5kvAuBnFRPbMr0GeN1hv_0qFDmHFQ4eHxahaD5O1wRMm1cFH-U9lu1wGonH6FdQyisijEHhRtI5pXgeDR6Rv4YvntIK3nRVs/s640/Ghost+Dots.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-42169945453562411572014-07-01T20:37:00.000-07:002016-05-23T20:37:26.577-07:00Hey babies, how's it hanging?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpYN9QLWbRljZszVThm5wSx6vtvI1Ty564qubAtdFdPAIUC2QISPnnq6rPHrRyb4NbmD8Ts-MAwDOqGhR_2zFvILgqiMJlGjyFuariqrPilAB1vdTFfNvtTnQZzvyOYUj9wApQUe7rsTY/s1600/Hey+babies+hows+it+hangin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpYN9QLWbRljZszVThm5wSx6vtvI1Ty564qubAtdFdPAIUC2QISPnnq6rPHrRyb4NbmD8Ts-MAwDOqGhR_2zFvILgqiMJlGjyFuariqrPilAB1vdTFfNvtTnQZzvyOYUj9wApQUe7rsTY/s640/Hey+babies+hows+it+hangin.jpg" width="494" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-67454285148868986452014-06-03T20:35:00.000-07:002016-05-23T20:35:20.964-07:00Great Moments in Theology<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtWgA_yiVp8KJm9Sl8fm_nn8ri3cD6SMSoMg4zk8IS2YbX6LQh_iXVDspjoK08ExCLs83dVqx1rpj9klzAfE_K3FZTA8tnu9phZFYj9Veaw3t_YBjJe3SnB-ip-rArL6VklhIntQgjsQE/s1600/Jesus+hath+thy+nose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtWgA_yiVp8KJm9Sl8fm_nn8ri3cD6SMSoMg4zk8IS2YbX6LQh_iXVDspjoK08ExCLs83dVqx1rpj9klzAfE_K3FZTA8tnu9phZFYj9Veaw3t_YBjJe3SnB-ip-rArL6VklhIntQgjsQE/s640/Jesus+hath+thy+nose.jpg" width="434" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-91918948627859061702014-05-06T20:24:00.000-07:002016-05-23T20:24:56.481-07:00Babies will never watch Toys again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidN8MsO_DVbLNbp2zhOfUGeVoZ0ZRk7afypseHvZSzBoblg89DR8cBpv51hbARBJCYlVS_vvicwvX7JO_70vZva9mjblSxUTs0bEgBkKkJkJXN_xNkyb03M_WE9vy3BF-wu2Q2e3yelgg/s1600/Babies+will+never+watch+Toys+again.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidN8MsO_DVbLNbp2zhOfUGeVoZ0ZRk7afypseHvZSzBoblg89DR8cBpv51hbARBJCYlVS_vvicwvX7JO_70vZva9mjblSxUTs0bEgBkKkJkJXN_xNkyb03M_WE9vy3BF-wu2Q2e3yelgg/s640/Babies+will+never+watch+Toys+again.jpg" width="494" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-21621600272020816502014-04-01T20:21:00.000-07:002016-05-23T20:21:32.558-07:00An oft-omitted passage from Plato<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMFQ_9JtQkbLosABgbAgFYXjunXhGZdch-3Lr-2GrqnbsMjvsbureHlhHKb1HvmJRwkZivqnoCPGqPcShWbNg2yMVUU3kByrCiWzgT7Go5Rq6wF3ZYtn6XJRcOMdjia_3Vf8BI9VhJDts/s1600/Page+from+Plato.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMFQ_9JtQkbLosABgbAgFYXjunXhGZdch-3Lr-2GrqnbsMjvsbureHlhHKb1HvmJRwkZivqnoCPGqPcShWbNg2yMVUU3kByrCiWzgT7Go5Rq6wF3ZYtn6XJRcOMdjia_3Vf8BI9VhJDts/s1600/Page+from+Plato.png" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-51877985438531396762014-03-04T20:17:00.000-08:002016-05-23T20:18:35.216-07:00Babies who hate Vince Vaughn<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXmKFekCUfss1nTs9qeeP-cjCvZ50eaWXybUZiklueDNf71ljJ0Ncdg4HRDARK9fGV51IOkZxvbkkGt3VCvh0VgIgPOgaCJK6X-yNReokI74J0L3Wxny-al4_AxLuabkKBTfkuay8nV2Q/s1600/Babies+that+hate+Vince+Vaughn.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXmKFekCUfss1nTs9qeeP-cjCvZ50eaWXybUZiklueDNf71ljJ0Ncdg4HRDARK9fGV51IOkZxvbkkGt3VCvh0VgIgPOgaCJK6X-yNReokI74J0L3Wxny-al4_AxLuabkKBTfkuay8nV2Q/s640/Babies+that+hate+Vince+Vaughn.png" width="494" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-12518398091024903212014-02-11T21:08:00.000-08:002016-05-24T21:09:29.568-07:008 favorite moviesThis was a hard list to put together. For starters, way more than
eight movies could have gone on this list. It was also hard not to get
bogged down in selection criteria. Note that this isn’t a list of “the
eight best movies ever made” or “eight crucial moments in film history.”
I don't consider myself qualified to make judgments like that, and even
if I had the credentials I wouldn't have any idea where to begin.<br />
<br />
To the extent that I’ve got criteria at all, the movies
in this set have in common only that I own well-worn copies of all of
them. I’ve watched them over and over again because of a particular way
they make me feel. The emotion isn’t always happy, but it is uniformly
strong.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"><b>Local Hero</b></a>
– Here’s the deal with this movie: as I said in the original review,
you either get this picture or you don’t. It isn’t about story or
character or special effects or anything most people expect from a
movie. The plug on the poster says “A beautiful coastline … A rich oil
man wants to develop it. A poor beach bum wants to live on it. An entire
town wants to profit by it. And a real-live mermaid wants to save it …
Only one of them will get their way.” Grammar and punctuation errors
aside, that’s an accurate summary of the plot. But it’s by no means an
adequate description of the experience. If you aren't able to sit back,
watch, and appreciate it without demanding that it teach you something
(or even expecting it to make sense all the time), it’s probably going
to be an unpleasant experience for you. But accept it on its own terms,
and it’s one of the best times you can have with a movie.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"><b>Dr. Strangelove</b></a>
– I don’t have a lot of comedies on this list, at least in part because
jokes in general tend not to be as funny once you’ve heard them a time
or two. And if that’s the standard, this shouldn’t amuse me at all. I’ve
seen it so many times that I can do most of the dialogue along with the
movie. Further, it’s a satire mocking a war that ended decades ago. But
each time I see it is like the first time. The humor endures, aided in
no small part by the quality of Stanley Kubrick’s brilliant visual work.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"><b>Blade Runner</b></a>
– I like – but do not love – both science fiction and film noir.
However, there’s something about this combination of the two that works
for me in a big way. It’s too sentimental by far, but Syd Mead’s design
work and Ridley Scott’s skill at putting the visuals to work more than
make up for the maudlin plot. I have a slight preference for the cut
that doesn’t include the voiceovers, because I think they’re a little
too self-consciously hard-boiled. But I’ll watch this picture in
whatever form I can get it.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"><b>The Mission</b></a>
– Speaking of sentimental, this one’s a real tear-jerker. On the other
hand, it’s visually stunning, featuring some of the most beautiful
location work I’ve ever seen. I also feel comfortable with the dichotomy
of theme. When faced with vile injustice, I find myself conflicted
between belief in direct (even violent) resistance and nonviolence. Here
the two protagonists approach the problem of slavery from different
perspectives. The resolution, however tragic, has a lot to teach us.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"><b>The Seven Samurai</b></a>
– In general I’ve got only limited tolerance for subtitles. Though I
prefer them to dubbing, I also don’t like to have to “read a movie.” But
I was hooked on this one from the first time I saw it. Though I’d like
to say that you can love this movie even if you don’t care for martial
arts or Japanese feudal society, I can’t say that as an objective
analysis. However, there is more to this picture than well-crafted
visuals and flying swords of samurai death.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"><b>Dawn of the Dead</b></a>
– Several horror movies could have occupied this spot, but I ended up
going with this one for several reasons. It’s the ultimate indie movie,
proving that you can make a damn fine picture without a gazillion-dollar
budget. All you need is a decent script and some talented actors. Even
movies with much better special effects, editing, soundtracks and the
like (including the 21st-century remake) aren’t anywhere near as good.
And better yet, tucked neatly inside the zombie stuff are some valuable
messages about class, race and gender.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"><b>Do the Right Thing</b></a>
– Speaking of race, here’s a movie that openly confronts social issues
that most film-makers either ignore completely or smooth over for the
sake of keeping audiences comfortable. Spike Lee’s direction is clever
and innovative, expertly blending humor and grim seriousness in just the
right doses.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"><b>Fargo</b></a>
– The list rounds out with another picture that blends humor and drama,
this time from the Coen brothers. Movies packed with kidnapping, murder
and other criminal shenanigans tend to be staffed with larger-than-life
characters, but not here. Everyone in this picture could be someone you
know (provided you live in a “fly-over state”), and it’s hard not to
sympathize with them even when they’re being heinous. Like the first
movie on this list, this is further proof that movies can be simple,
quiet and great.Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-14867089655907445392014-02-04T20:15:00.000-08:002016-05-23T20:16:17.585-07:00Modern Living Tip<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc7wNilfe_PsjEHznjnoJHSkxHHIPUHCQP1AHABpv1lI1mSPwZXAVlf9dFIil8hyMwd9mw0MqKkj6CTPc3ZXOaOB5JOW3WdCH2kIifKT5exB-xNb-JeiFJtFx1P_aZP-0urxMt16dJ_GU/s1600/Modern+living+tip+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc7wNilfe_PsjEHznjnoJHSkxHHIPUHCQP1AHABpv1lI1mSPwZXAVlf9dFIil8hyMwd9mw0MqKkj6CTPc3ZXOaOB5JOW3WdCH2kIifKT5exB-xNb-JeiFJtFx1P_aZP-0urxMt16dJ_GU/s640/Modern+living+tip+1.jpg" width="350" /></a></div>
<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-34181343405264519242014-01-28T06:37:00.000-08:002014-01-28T06:37:02.549-08:00Google Fiber: initial reactions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDv05zrj39v0n33LNFMXEkilXFTiziZVH_cMIpATHHgXqqoHeFFstSoZhpVfEYW47-6BRMXqMplNNM2bvYrDQRxHs3tKgr5STjCARFhsHHx_b6TDHM5MRtdYPrNYnmfaMVf7XDkzKt5SU/s1600/DSC_9925.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDv05zrj39v0n33LNFMXEkilXFTiziZVH_cMIpATHHgXqqoHeFFstSoZhpVfEYW47-6BRMXqMplNNM2bvYrDQRxHs3tKgr5STjCARFhsHHx_b6TDHM5MRtdYPrNYnmfaMVf7XDkzKt5SU/s1600/DSC_9925.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Sorry about falling behind in here. It’s the usual start-of-semester craziness.<br />
<br />
The big news is that we finally at long last got our Google Fiber hook-up. They installed the outdoor box (above) at the start of the month, and then they came indoors to install the rest of it (below) a couple of weeks ago.<br />
<br />
My thoughts so far: obviously it’s a great deal faster than what we used to have. And far more reliable. It’s been interesting to see which sites keep up with the new connection and which ones are slow no matter how good your ISP is.<br />
<br />
To be sure, it’s just an internet connection. My life hasn’t been miraculously transformed. I’m not instantly smarter or wealthier or thinner than I was when I had bad ’net service. However, I could seriously get used to not crossing my fingers every time I try uploading a web page. And I could seriously and profoundly get used to Netflix, Amazon Prime and Youtube videos that download in seconds, don’t screech to a halt in the middle and display in the best available image quality.<br />
<br />
I’ll keep you posted with further reactions. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-52601747535014963792014-01-14T00:30:00.000-08:002014-01-14T00:30:03.660-08:00What is a Hoffman Lens?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last week we had some dead folks to honor, but now that duty’s done it’s time to introduce this blog more properly.<br />
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The Hoffman Lens was originally a column on the 8sails web site. The column was designed to skewer obnoxious trends in mass media and popular culture. And we’ll continue on in that tradition here. I opted to make the move to a Blogger blog because they’re easier to manage than separate web pages. I’d rather focus on being mean to celebrities and leave the HTML to folks who love it more than I do.<br />
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So what exactly is a “Hoffman Lens”?<br />
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In <em><a href="http://8sails.com/Subsections/Media/Movies/Movie%20reviews/T/They%20Live%20review.htm">They Live</a></em>,
a movie by famed horror-meister John Carpenter, evil space aliens have
taken over the planet and are systematically using the Earth as a giant
third-world economy. Trouble is, nobody knows what’s going on. The
dastardly villains have managed to disguise themselves, hide their
presence and keep earthlings in line via an elaborate barrage of
brain-numbing broadcasts and subliminal print messages. The only way to
see the bad guys in their true, less-than-attractive shape is by wearing
sunglasses that have been treated with some kind of special,
hypno-filtering chemical. In one scene these glasses are identified as
Hoffman lenses. Hence the name.Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027888357191222883.post-25906439953675622632014-01-07T00:30:00.000-08:002014-01-07T00:30:02.949-08:00Starting at the end<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Seems odd and yet at the same time fitting to say hello on this blog by saying goodbye to 2013’s parade of dead folks. At the start of last year I’d intended to stop doing this. But some of the people who passed in the last 12 months really can’t go without some recognition.<br />
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<b>Richard Matheson</b> – Many times I’ve found myself watching something random only to discover that Matheson wrote the screenplay. Or the production was based on one of his novels or short stories. Sometimes the discovery wasn’t much of a surprise (several takes on post-apocalyptic survivalism have been blamed fairly or not on <i>I Am Legend</i>). But on a few occasions it’s been a total “wow, he wrote that?” experience. Check <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0558577/">his credits on IMDb</a> and you’ll see what I mean. How fair is it that we lost him barely a year after Ray Bradbury passed?<br />
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<b>Jean Stapleton</b> – Edith Bunker was my grandma to my grandpa’s Archie: unflappably kind and optimistic in the face of often less than ideal circumstances. Quite a coincidence that Stapleton and Grandma died less than two months apart. They were both liberal Democrats and fond of the theatre (though Grandma spent more time in the audience than onstage).<br />
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<b>Roger Ebert</b> – Critics are easy to hate. Spend just a few minutes digging through the staff reviews on 8sails and I’m sure you’ll find plenty of opinions with which you don’t agree. Indeed, if you agree with everything I write then you’re probably me, in which case you need to quit goofing around on the internet and get back to work on the proposal that’s due Monday. Without doubt I differed with Ebert many times. But I respected his obvious love of movies. Such affection can be hard to come by in the 21st century.<br />
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<b>Jonathan Winters</b> – Along with Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner, Winters’s comedy albums were a big influence on my childhood development of a sense of humor. I particularly liked his willingness to explore the strange and nonsensical.<br />
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<b>Hal Needham</b> – For better or worse, here’s the guy who made Burt Reynolds what he is today. Needham intrigues me because he’s one of the few people who escaped the realm of the support staff – in his case the stuntman pool – and achieved success in movie management.<br />
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<b>Eileen Brennan</b> – Brennan appears in all three of my favorite detective movie parodies: <a href="http://8sails.com/Subsections/Media/Movies/Movie%20reviews/C/Cheap%20Detective%20review.htm"><i>The Cheap Detective</i></a>, <a href="http://8sails.com/Subsections/Media/Movies/Movie%20reviews/M/Murder%20by%20Death%20review.htm"><i>Murder by Death</i></a> and <a href="http://8sails.com/Subsections/Media/Movies/Movie%20reviews/C/Clue%20review.htm"><i>Clue</i></a>. That’s partially coincidence, but it’s also partially a testament to one hard working actor. Here’s <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0107281/?ref_=nv_sr_1">another IMDb listing</a> that’s bound to impress.<br />
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<b>Lou Reed</b> – Reed’s New York tour remains one of the best concerts I’ve ever seen, only appropriate considering that the New York album remains one of my favorite records. He was an intriguing performer, sometimes humorless in his music (especially some of the more self-indulgent stuff from later in his career) and yet willing to play a villain (<i>One Trick Pony</i>) or laugh at rock stars (<i>Get Crazy</i>) onscreen. After he stopped doing really brilliant work, I lost a lot of my interest in music.<br />
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<b>Ray Harryhausen</b> – Thus passes not just the career of a special effects genius but the end of an entire special effects era. Harryhausen’s Dynamation process was downright clunky by sophisticated CGI standards. Certainly none of his animation would ever be mistaken for the “real thing.” But his work had an artistry almost entirely absent from the fancy stuff technicians churn out now. His clunky characters had real personality, making otherwise dreadful movies worth watching. I don’t have a lot of movie-related stuff in my office, but reproductions of three of his creations adorn the tops of my shelves.Bryan Whiteheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02305100169171455001noreply@blogger.com0